When did it get so lonely to be a Mom

Not quite twenty years stand between them, but there is a divide between moms who had their kids in the 90’s and those who have had kids in the 2000’s. I know because there is such an age gap in my oldest and my youngest.

My first born was welcomed into this world on the edge of the 2000’s, it was such a different world than the one I am raising my youngest in now.

Strange how my childhood is so alien to the one my own children are experiencing. I am certain every generation has felt this way. Looking back on the simplicity of their own and at the complexity of their child’s. The difference for the 22nd century mother is her own. Not her child’s by the change in the meaning of motherhood.

Mothers today are trapped in a world inside their computer. Stay at home mothers are lonely, working mothers are using their jobs as socialization. Judging eyes have made the ladies’ night out a rare and unpublicized occasion. Home parties are dying, mothers toting a martini glass laughing in the kitchen while the kids run wild in the yard have dissipated. 

We have created a solitude for mothers. Allowing sadness and loneliness to overcome the joys motherhood once held. There is greater access to the world than any generation before, yet that has created a journey into the world behind screens forgetting the importance of face to face time and back-yard-BBQ’s. We don’t even take the time to make a call or listen to a voice on the other line, instead we send a text that can be read at any time, or read a post that may have been made days and months prior. There is no longer a friend there in our time of need.

At the turn of the last century (that statement makes me feel so old) social media was only surfacing, and my cell phone was merely for calls.  Friends stopped by out of the blue, hours were spent in the kitchen, on the deck, laughing and visiting. Kids ran wild in the yard, play dates were not even called such, but rather just a group of moms hanging out.

Fast forward 16 years, rarely does anyone stop by. My cell phone can access the world by internet, entertain me for hours, yet it still does not give me the connection I once had. When did we replace the joy of others company for a screen?

My goal for this summer is to reconnect with the world. To sit on someones porch or in the kitchen and just enjoy their company. To invite friends over and open my house to the laughter of children playing.

The world may have changed, leaving mothers to feel alone, depressed, desperate for connections, but we can change that back. We, mothers, can step out of our comforts and bring back the dying arts cookie bakes, home parties, sewing bees, martini’s and laughter…. We need to take time for ourselves and slow down, and make a friend.

The Importance of Mom Friends


  1. Julia

    Love it, Kayla! You are so right. It is hard sometimes for mommas to reach out. When did things become so overplanned? I homeschool and you would think that would give us more freedom, which it does at times. But it can also lead to lots of lonely, monotonous days ‘stuck in the house. Anytime you are over my way, feel free to drop in. I’ll pour you a glass of sweet tea and we can sit back and just talk. Hugs!

    1. Post

      Oh, Julia! I want to home-school so bad, but I am scared I will neglect all my other duties for trying to schedule too much!! I may take you up on that glass of sweet tea, it is hard to come by a good glass of sweet tea now that I am further north!!

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