I like to think of myself as a strong woman. Today I am reminded how weak I am. Saying Good-bye is hard.
When you have six kids: his, mine and ours. There is always good-byes. I have gave out many a hug, and a kiss and promise to see them again soon. It just never gets easier.
After a beautiful week of outdoors, adventures and conversations with my oldest, today I drove him to the airport and put him on a plane back to his home state. My heart breaks as a mother.
It doesn’t matter how strong you are, or how good you are at holding back the tears. When you have to hug your kid (no matter how close to being a man they are) good-bye knowing you wouldn’t get to see them again for months, you will become weak. You think about how much you want to talk them into moving. Or how you can convince them just to stay. A thousand things run through your head in that moment.
The best thing for your child is for them to grow up, and grow up so that they no longer need you. Just typing those words hurt. A mother always wants their child to need them. But a good mother knows she has raised her child to survive without her. Because she won’t always be there (I won’t always be there) but the lessons you have taught, the love you have given and the independence you have instilled in your child will live on forever.
Today I put that boy on a plane, the tears poured down my cheeks and I wanted to say just stay. But as I watched him walk away, camo duffel bag in tow, I felt proud. Proud that my boy is becoming a man.